


Thankful

by polishpromdress



Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-16
Updated: 2015-02-16
Packaged: 2018-03-13 07:29:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,271
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3372962
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/polishpromdress/pseuds/polishpromdress
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After weeks of avoiding Cas because of his feelings for him, an agreement is reached and the beans are spilt over lots of pie at Dean's favorite holiday dinner: Thanksgiving.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Thankful

Dean dreams of two things that never fail to make him happy. He dreams of being a kid with Sammy, setting off fireworks, and his angel. His beautiful, gorgeous, trenchcoated, couple doors down in the bunker angel. Tonight was one of those nights .

His dreams about Cas were never about interation, or doing anything with him, they were just about looking at him. Tracing the perfect creases of his face, stopping over his eyes for a moment or two to take in what Dean was sure was a wonder of the world. He panned over his mouth, which began to frown at Dean, mouthing words he couldn't make out. Cas began kicking and punching him continuously, doing everything he could to push Dean away from him.

"Stop hiding, Dean." He spoke harshly, ringing in Dean's sleepy ears.

Dean bolted up in bed, sweat dripping off of his face. He had to remember it was a dream. It was just a bad dream. Breathe dammit. He ran a hand down his face and sat there with his head in his hand, propped up against his knee. His feelings for Cas they weren't..natural. It was something that ate away at him, wishing he could just pull Cas in by the ears and yell in his face how he thought about him. But he couldn't do that. He couldn't be falling in lo-  
he couldn't be falling in anything with Cas. Cas was the most perfect thing in this whole world. Cas deserved someone who would worship him endlessley every second of every damn day, and Dean knew he coulnd't give him that. Cas deserved a King, and Dean was merely a peasant. So, in turn Dean avoided him completley. He ate in the other room, read with headphones on, and whenever they were together he would turn whatever was on up so high in volume that conversation was impossible. Dean couldn't put Cas in danger. He couldn't hurt him. Being in a realtionship in this buisness hasn't worked out for any hunter so far, and he wasn't expecting to start a new trend. Dean knew Cas deserved the world.

Dean knew it couldn't be him.

*

Dean strolled back from the shower into his room slipping on his clothes as they stuck to his damp skin. He pulled on his watch last, checking the time as he did. It read 6:30 AM. Dean shrugged, surprised he had gotten a full 5 hours. He looked at himself in the mirror, running a hand around his chin, and decided to keep his stubble going for another day, too lazy to shave today. Something in the back of his head itched, as if it were telling him something. Dean cocked his head and squinted, trying to think through scenarios and see if he forgot anything . After deciding it wasn't Sammy's birthday he shook off the feeling, and made his way for the kitchen.

Dean got out a Red SOLO cup and filled them to the brim with Coco Pebbles, dousing them in an unforgiving milk spout. He grabbed a spoonful and shoved it into his mouth, happilly, nodding and grunting with satisfaction as he did. Coco Pebbles were his favorite. In no time he had downed the whole cup and drank the dirtied brown milk, throwing away his cup and plastic spoon. He opened the fridge and reluctantly slid the milk back on the top shelf past Sammy's iced coffee. As he did so he saw two large bags on the bottom shelf, one filled with three different pies. Dean's eyes widened and he grabbed them both excitedly, setting them down on the counter to inspect them. He looked in the bag with the pie first, and on the plastic packaging of the pumpkin pie he saw a note. It read;

"Wait until dinner to eat these, Dean. I'm serious.

-Sam"

Dean furrowed his brow and repeated to himself,

"Wait until dinner?"

He looked in the other bag and found a turkey, stuffing, and potatoes. He rolled his eyes in spite of himself and laughed a big, hearty laugh. Thanksgiving. Dean smiled happily and put the bags back into the fridge. Thanksgiving had been the most important holiday to Dean ever since he could remember. It was a holiday dedicated to food and family, and does it really get any better than that? Dean closed the fridge door and spun around so he was nose-to-nose with Cas. He stumbled back onto the counter behind him, his breath catching in his throat as he did.

"Jesus, Cas. You scared the shit out of me." He hissed, not daring to make eye contact.

Cas looked down at his own feet, looking like he was shattering slowly.

"Happy Thanksgiving, Dean." He said with a blank face.

"You too, Cas. You too." Dean said as he pushed himself off the counter he was leaning on, propelling him in the direction back to his room. He left the air thick, lost words and awkwardness hanging in it like humidity.

"Stop hiding, Dean." He heard Cas say from behind him. He turned around from his doorway and met Cas's gaze in the hallway, his face changing a color he was positive wasn't identified yet. He felt déjà vu hit him like a brick in the stomach.

"What do you mean, Cas?" Dean said harshly, watching the floor in front of him.

"You know what I mean, Dean. You've been hiding. Much like I have. We have been hiding from eachother. Hiding our feelings, Dean. You're scared, Dean Winchester! Something I never thought I could say in my exsistence. But you are.."

"Cas, I don't know what you're talking abou-"

"Stop playing coy, dammit! I know you do!" Cas sighed, Dean making eye contact with him for the first time in weeks.

"I may not know much about anything about humans, but I know you, Dean. Almost as good as your own brother. I raised you from perdition, don't you think I deserve to know your feelings for m-"

"I can't hurt you, dammit!" Dean yelled, cutting him off. "Even if I did have feelings for you, I would never ask you to settle for me. You're...everything, Cas. You deserve someone to worship the ground you walk on, not "Mr Cant Keep A Girl For More Than One Night.""

"So you admit it, then? You do have feelings for me?" Cas said, and Dean could hear the smugness in his voice.

"Cas...I would hurt you." Dean said softly, his voice catching in his throat as he did .

Cas looked up at the ceiling and shook his head in disbelief , as if he were talking to God, which Dean was sure wasn't the case. Cas moved in slowly, putting a hand on Dean's hip, pulling him in. Dean sighed and melted into his touch, wrapping his arms around his angel, puting his head in the crook of his neck.

"Dean.." Cas started, and Dean sighed, and Cas swore he felt a tear on him.

"If someone asked me to chose who I wanted to be with out of the 7 billion people, not even including celestial beings, I would chose you every time." Cas whispered into Dean's ear.

Dean pulled Cas's hands down to his sides, holding them. He kissed his forehead and looked into those 8th wonders of the world that Cas carried around with him.

"I love you, Cas. But you deserve the world, and I'm just a small town." Dean said as he walked back into his room shutting the door, leaving Cas in the hallway with his mouth hanging open.

*

"Dean, time for dinner!" Sammy yelled from the kitchen. Dean sat up and inspected his eyes in the mirror, checking to see if they were still bloodshot. He sighed and opened his door, peering out both ways before stepping into the hallway. He grabbed a beer from the fridge and sat down at the table, watching his feet the whole way there. Sammy was happily putting everything down on make-shift potholders he had gotten from the farmer's market the other day, obviously proud of his own cooking. Sam sat down across from Dean at the other head of the table, grabbing his fork and knife in either hand, ready to dig in. Cas sat directly next to Sam, a safe distance from Dean, asking Sam if he needed any more help before he settled. After replying 'no' Sam looked at Dean and they began putting unholy amounts of food on thier plates.

Dean's teeth began to grind. He wanted to yell at the top of his lungs that the love of his life was a sarcastic, little, feathery angel who was sitting right across from him. He wanted to grab Sammy and shake him by the shoulders as he told him he was in love with the angel that raised them both from perdition. He felt like he was going to explode. He wanted to grab Cas and kiss him a million times, apoligizing ten times as much for how stupid he has been. Dean's breathing became rugged, as if his breaths were a ticking fuse . Dean thought that just maybe he could be everything for Cas . He could try his hardest , try with everything he had to be good to him. He felt two stares bare into his flesh as he turned red partially from embarrassment, partially from what he was about to do. As he looked over at Cas, he saw him wipe a tear and then inspect his thumb, unsure of what the liquid was.

Dean thought his heart had broken right there .

Dean bolted up from the table , shaking it vigorously as it threatened to knock over him and his brothers beers. He looked around hesitantly for something anything to explain his actions . Finally, he grabbed his beer , raising it slightly as he did .

Dean knew it had to be him.

"I'd like to make a toast." He began.  
He felt like his beer was gonna fall out of his hand from how sweaty it was.

"Sammy, you're the best friend I've ever had. Thanks for always having my back for all these years. Here's to another 30, kid." He said as he brought his beer to his lips and guzzled a large sip .  
He debated ending his speech there . Pretending that's all he was going to say . Blanking out on this thanksgiving forever and changing subjects whenever somebody brought it up. He debated on taking the easy way out of this all, leaving his heart broken angel to carry this around with him for all eternity. But then Dean thought to himself about how he had never taken the easy route, and by looking around him he could tell he was pretty happy with where that had gotten him.

Dean cleared his throat for the hundredth time .

Dean knew it had to be him.

"I have to say something to you too, Cas, and I think you need to hear this as well Sammy." Dean smiled to himself and then finally gained the courage to look into those heaping blue eyes Cas had.

"I love you, Cas. I have for years . I'm done with hiding from it. To tell you the truth I was scared to be with you because I didn't want you to get hurt. But I'm not anymore . I'm willing to fight for you until my last breath, and give every single thing in this world to make you happy . I'm gonna try to be perfect for you, Cas I'm really gonna try."

He finished and sat back down quickly , sweat beads dripping off his face and into his food. Every second of silence passed like a year until Sammy finally broke it with the harsh sound of his chair against the floor. Dean was staring into his mashed potatoes until suddenly he was pulled up into a hug from his brother. Sam pulled away from Dean, still holding his shoulders , smiling the geekiest-teary-eyed smile he had ever seen. Sam looked over Dean's shoulder, dropping his grasp. Dean looked behind him and saw Cas studying his face in complete disbelief . He grabbed his hand and led him to his room in the bunker, closing the door behind them.

"I love you, Dean Winchester."

*

Dean and Cas sat on the couch with their hands interlocked watching the game as Sammy did dishes with a smile on his face , humming a tune only he knew. He was rubbing small circles into Cas' palm and smiling. Sammy rustled with something in the kitchen that caught Deans attention.  
"Do you wanna cut the pie, Dean?" Sammy yelled from the kitchen .

Dean looked at Cas, who was trying very hard to understand what was going on in the football game .

"Nah, can you just bring me a piece?" Dean called back, causing Cas to look at him.

"You always cut the pie, Dean. It's tradition!" Sammy countered with a laugh.

Dean studied Castiel's face much like he did in his dreams , appreciating every pore that was on his perfect body. He promised right then and there that he would never let a frown be on that perfect face as long as he lived . Cas nestled into Dean and Dean kissed his hair, resting his chin on his head. He thought this was the best thanksgiving he had ever had, and remembered how just this morning he didn't know what day it was . He squeezed his angels hand.  
He always knew thanksgiving was his favorite for some reason.

"I think it's time for new traditions."


End file.
